I won a mostly-expense-paid trip back to the dr.'s office

My doctor's office called back and the ultimate conclusion from my last PAP is that he doesn't know if there's significance in the fact that I'm HPV positive again. CR@P! So, I now have the privilege of paying another $40 copay to get re-poked/prodded. The nurse told me that I should schedule my follow-up "sometime before your next visit in three months". HAH! It's like they don't think about the emotional impact it will have on me to know there's a chance that this crap is back. To suggest that I just come in sometime in the next 2-3 months may be their way to underscore that there is no urgency and so I shouldn't stress; but, since I'm the person who's affected, I don't happen to agree. I insisted on the next available appointment. It's in 2 1/2 weeks. Yeah, he's a busy guy. Saving lives and all...

Aside from the obvious I was really annoyed at this setback. I was really starting to feel like I could move forward with my life again. I had high hopes that these quarterly visits were just going to be minor emotional blips along the way. You know, a bit of anxiety building up to the visit followed by some cautious optimism fading into confidence. Instead it's time to spend the next three weeks in denial and then reassess things after the follow-up on the 18th.