Thursday, March 3, 2011

I won a mostly-expense-paid trip back to the dr.'s office

My doctor's office called back and the ultimate conclusion from my last PAP is that he doesn't know if there's significance in the fact that I'm HPV positive again. CR@P! So, I now have the privilege of paying another $40 copay to get re-poked/prodded. The nurse told me that I should schedule my follow-up "sometime before your next visit in three months". HAH! It's like they don't think about the emotional impact it will have on me to know there's a chance that this crap is back. To suggest that I just come in sometime in the next 2-3 months may be their way to underscore that there is no urgency and so I shouldn't stress; but, since I'm the person who's affected, I don't happen to agree. I insisted on the next available appointment. It's in 2 1/2 weeks. Yeah, he's a busy guy. Saving lives and all...

Aside from the obvious I was really annoyed at this setback. I was really starting to feel like I could move forward with my life again. I had high hopes that these quarterly visits were just going to be minor emotional blips along the way. You know, a bit of anxiety building up to the visit followed by some cautious optimism fading into confidence. Instead it's time to spend the next three weeks in denial and then reassess things after the follow-up on the 18th.


  1. I cannot imagine what you are feeling. I feel full of rage just reading this. There's so much that doctors do NOT know about our bodies. They don't even have a test for proving you actually have HPV. All they can see is displastic (abnormal) cells and they blame it on HPV - assuming that's what caused it but MANY things cause displastic cells, even normal mutations.

    Science doesn't even fully understand pharmicology (plants). How the heck can they understand the human body?

    Keep up the positive thoughts. Focus on being well. Claim that right - to be strong and vital and continue eating healthfully and exercising like you do. Ask for a RETEST of your pap (maybe even go to a different office for it). I know people who have displastic cells in one pap and they're completely normal the next time. It happens ALL THE TIME. It doesn't mean ANYTHING.

    Love ya honey. Maintain the good faith that you are well. This is just ridiculous news.

  2. Yeah - the doc wasn't quite as worried about the abnormal cells, but the last PAP showed that the abnormal cells were HPV negative whereas these were positive - so he's being appropriately cautious, but the biggest "ugh" is that the whole thing takes a long time. :(

  3. Hang in there Michelle! I'm sure the waiting is agonizing. Like your friend said, remain strong & positive. Sending good thoughts & prayers your way.

  4. Two thumbs up for health insurance. Ugh on the agony. If you need something useful that I can provide, like a kidney or something, let me know.